how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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