apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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