Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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