No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
