What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
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