I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize