just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
