just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
