She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
there is puke in my bra ... again
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
