We're like a lot better than the average bears
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize