I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
