So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
