READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
