in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
