its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
