Sponge bath it is.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Randomize