I looked at my own cervix.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
