Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Randomize
