Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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