I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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