on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
