Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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