There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
