I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize