we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I came so hard my ears popped.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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