last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
