Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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