I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
