I think scott just propositioned me for sex
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
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