"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
