I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
When did angry sex become our thing?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
