ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
