turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
