bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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