our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
how drunk are you?
Several
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
