I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
