Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Randomize
