I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just saw a hot homeless man
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
