eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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