she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
