operation have a gay friend backfired
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
And then he peed in my hair
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