Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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