It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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