Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
