I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
