I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
