too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
