Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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