marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
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