she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
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don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
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I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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