Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
