So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Less talking, more tequila
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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