lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize