I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize