How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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