I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Omg I joined a choir last night...
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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