OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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