So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
