i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Randomize
