I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
