I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
