please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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