This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I love you.
Bad choice
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
